What We Learned About Finding Partners (so far)

We have had really good luck on sites, I know crazy, right!  We have pretty strong ideas when it comes to listings and how we deal with replies:

    1. We are very clear about what we are looking for in our ad – “Want full swap” or “Must be open to bi play”
    2. Within 5 yrs of our age” not “around our age” – we were surprised with the number of people who believe within 15-20 (younger or older) was “around our age”
    3. State  “at least 8” if you want a big cock not “endowed” or “hung” – some men try to explain that “5” is the average, so 6″ is endowed” not for us
    4. Be clear about drug use it is an issue “no drugs” not “we are cool about what you do, but we are not into doing drugs” – we met a guy that seemed to be perfect until he pulled out a drug that smelled so bad that both of us lost our drive.  We could care less if a person/couple love drug use – it is just not for us so we don’t want it in our play.
    5. Give a specific direction such as  paste  “this”  in the subject line when you reply  – in our experience if they are not reading the whole post and can’t follow a simple request they are not for us (again no issue or judgment but we are not doing this everyday so we would like to get what works and turns us on)  We have also found that by not following a simple request it usually stands to follow that they don’t really respond well when someone has something important they need to convey.
    6. Ask for a picture and pay attention to what they send – a guy that sends cock shots and no face shot shows he is proud of his cock..however in our experience it could also mean he is focused on his cock and we are not looking to “serve” someone – we want everyone to have a great time. Pictures that show us his physique, face and cock usually let us know what we can expect as a “whole” visual package.
    7. Don’t be explicit in your ad about the exact bedroom play you are wanting unless you are just looking for a guy that will in perform the task at hand and then go. Sometimes this is what you may want, in this case the ad is a the perfect place and the perfect time to communicate that.
    8. When returning pictures to the perspective couple or single show yourselves together in at least one picture. This makes a firm statement, “We are both available and are both engaged in the lifestyle.”
    9. Privacy is an understandable concern however if you ask for pictures you have to be open to sharing yours too.

So now you picked your couple or single – we like to meet & greet in a neutral location.

  1. Voice verify –  this is the first thing we always do when we are considering meeting with someone.  Especially if there is a woman involved.  There are many people who answer ads professing to be in a situation that is non-existent.  If you ask to speak to the woman and she just ran to the market, or is out-of-town on business you may be getting a good idea that  this “couple” or person doesn’t exist.
  2. When arranging your meet and greet choose a place that can give some privacy (most of our conversations in this situation go to sex/experience/turn ons) & is not not too loud.  You want to be able to hear each other without delivering information ( that my be shocking or offensive) to the people around you.
  3. Take the time to explain your experience level during your first meet & greet.  Do not exaggerate or play coy.  This is a good time to be sure that your experience level and expectations are in line with your “new” friends ideas and experiences.
  4. Make sure everyone is understanding of each other’s sexual orientation – nothing worse than having unwanted advances during play.
  5. This is the time to be open and specific.  For example if you are full swap and really need intercourse with the other person this is the time to be open about it. Or if size matters to anyone this is a great time to tell them AGAIN (even if it was in your ad) that this is important and a perfect time for  other male to exit gracefully if he is not the guy you are looking for.
  6. Be aware that if you start the conversation with “We don’t kiss or ” We don’t do anal” many couples will be turned off. – Work you boundaries into the conversation – make it natural so that you don’t seem like you are giving orders or trying to control a situation that has many moving parts.

If all goes well in the meet and greet we try to get together that night, in our experience waiting too long to play is a recipe for disaster because we fantasize about the couple or single and over time they never measure up to our fantasies.

Enjoy!  Please tell us your experiences and please add any advice or suggestions that you would like to pass along and please tell us if this helped!

2 Responses to “What We Learned About Finding Partners (so far)”
  1. Hubman says:

    Great advice, I especially like the paste “this” in the subject line idea, I’m going to have to update our profiles to include that!

  2. Nat says:

    Great advice! I’ll be bookmarking this.

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