Bi: Just for woman?

No matter which site you look at, you will find that bisexuality is a huge part of the “lifestyle”.  Many couples are looking to fulfill their fantasy of having a FMF threesome whether or not the female half of the couple is a bisexual woman or not.  In our case the Mrs. had the fantasy of two men that would play with each other.  We had heard many times from “lifestyle” couples how our vanilla counterparts are close minded & don’t know what they are missing.  Yet those same open “lifestyle” couples judge men that are bi or bi open as freaks and make it clear that there is no room for them in the lifestyle. Some couples have gone as far as to say woman can be bi but men are gay attempting to hide it.  We understand why a gay man would feel the need to hide his sexuality and lie to his female partner although why would that same man decide to increase his chances of being with women by entering the lifestyle?  It makes little sense.

What I really find odd, is how a bisexual man in the lifestyle community is treated. Bisexual males in the lifestyle are ostracized, while bi females are considered a true prize ala the “Unicorn” title.  Why the double standard?

Even though a woman of a couple may not be bisexual, there are usually no qualms about playing with another couple where the female is bisexual. In those cases, it is made known that the other female is not bisexual and it is not a form of play that they participate in. No big deal.

But if it is found that the male half of the couple is bisexual, any and all contact is stopped there. Why is this? Does the other couple believe that just because the male half of that couple is bisexual that he will try something any way just because he is bisexual? Is it that most men in the lifestyle are just as homophobic as men in the general population? Does the man in the lifestyle think that the bisexual man cannot control himself? Does the man think that just because the other guy is bisexual, that he would find him sexually attractive?

I find it really funny how bisexual women are welcomed into the lifestyle with open arms, but bisexual men are shunned. Isn’t the lifestyle about sexual openness and freeing oneself to be who they are sexually?

I do understand how couples would have a preference not to play with a couple where the man or woman is bisexual,  just as some couples are completely turned off by a bisexual female (although those couples are far and few between), but being treated like a second class citizen in the lifestyle community?   That is just a shame and shows how sexually ignorant and uptight some folks are.

For the record,  Mr. is  bisexual.   He has no interest in dating other men, but does not have a problem playing with a couple where the man is bi or bi open and everyone understand that some sexual contact could occur between the men – he is open to sex with anyone that turns him on and wants to play.  It is interesting, we met a couple where they said they made no mention of male bisexuality, we were playing “Truth Or Dare” & his wife dared Mr. to suck her Hubby’s cock – Hubby really liked it & at hubby’s request I did it again and again throughout the evening’s session.  Both ladies loved watching their men go “at it”!

Bisexual male play is a turn-on of the Mrs. she finds it VERY erotic!   There is just something about two men having sex that drives her wild.  Not unlike most men who believe two woman fucking is a spectator sport for their visual enjoyment.  Until Mr. she has never actually been able to experience this live, however she has watched many hours of gay porn.  The first time she saw it live she pretty much lost her mind and now requests it often.  Mr. is very happy to comply with her “show” requests.

We understand that it is not a turn-on for some, but why the double standard concerning bisexuality in the lifestyle?   Why do we find more and more men wanting bi play?  Thoughts?  Are you bi and closeted until the other male says he is ok with it?

4 Responses to “Bi: Just for woman?”
  1. Josh says:

    I am new to the blog so forgive me for commenting on an old blog (if 8 days is old.)

    A lot of profiles on our swinger’s site treat bi-guys as a lesser class of people. We have gotten into fights and ended communication with couples because of the vitriol the showed. Like you, I expected the “lifestyle” to be free, open and accepting. Just because we may have differing kinks does not mean we cannot talk.

    Unlike Mr. I am not bi. We have had MFMs and MFMFs with guys who were bi, and magically they did not try to do anything to me that I did not consent to. We’ve had people we met and proclain to be straight, ask us on yahoo if I would be up for guy/guy play. I just don’t get it, so to save the trouble I put a disclaimer on our “ad” saying if you have a problem with BBWs, black guys or bi guys just go ahead and skip us over too, because chances are we are not going to get along.

    I have told my wife that if she ever wants to see me with a guy that I would consider it, but she seems

    happy with pegging me. So I’ve got that going for me. I will go back and read through the blog and maybe comment here and there. I like the set up!

    • Josh – such a cool comment – we find that a lot of the people we have encountered are fairly open. It always got me (Mr.) that just because I am bi does not mean I am going to force myself on another man. Also the guys that are that uptight usually don’t hold my interest – so they have nothing to worry about 🙂

    • FreakyV says:

      While I am a borderline swinger, meaning, it just hasn’t happened yet but I am hopeful, I love the idea of two men together. But I don’t like the idea of my man with another man….well as yet! lol

      I have alot of gay and bi friends. I have been to several orgies but they were all gay men and I was just the voyeur. I get off on bi-porn alot and I don’t mean female to female.

      I have a fantasy where I am having sex with a man while he has a cock in his ass. My boyfriend does not think I would care for it if it happened. But he has no prejudice. He does not want to play with a man one on one but has no problems with male contact as he has been involved in DP and DVP. He also does not care if the male is bi.

      While I have really no experience, I have friends in the lifestyle whom have told me that there are many males whom are bi-sexual, they just don’t put in on their profiles and I do have one friend that is a single male in the lifestyle and his profile says straight. He is also terrified his friends will find out that he is bi.

      Education is the key and posting and talking about it, helps others understand and not be so fearful of myths.

      • Your comment is so right on! We have had the same experiences with couples & single men where they ID as straight then ask Mr to play with the male. It is all about education and open minds.

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